Last Updated 19th May 10.00pm

SCREAM IF YOU WANT TO GO FASTER

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NEWS FLASH - SEE THE SEPTEMBER ITEM ON CENTRE PARC'S

INFO FLASH - Sal and Jon have got a new phone number (ask editor for details), rumor is that they have got a new phone as well (nice shiny one).
Spens got a new email address s.wesson2@ntlworld.com the guy who has got his original address is in big trouble, especially with a name like that.

WALES FLASH - Looks like the cottage has been booked for next years pre-Easter holidays, we currently have our top team of negotiators working out a deal with the sheep s----ers, more news as it comes in, just in, It looks like the price will be around £1000 for the week, that works out at £25 each with the over 65's paying £250 each

2004 - Remember, I've only got 20 or so good holiday's left in me, and half of them will be with Saga

April
2nd Big Jen, Fuller, Big Sal & Jon set off to Wales to give the cottage a once over before the main party arrive, Fuller check all the fire exits, Jon made sure that there was a good supply of cards in the local shops, Big Jen checked the youth clubs out and Big Sal brought a few handbags.
3rd Holiday season starts early with the annual pre-Easter trip to Wales, I can't go for the second year running and if they get a heatwave like last year I'm going to slash my wrists
4th Harvey's Birthday - nothing arranged yet but Charlie chalks and Big Mac are on standby Special Note - Please remember that Harvey will be on Holiday down Wales for the week
6th Sylvia at the phoenix (Big Sal & Chez) everybody is welcome (please note that I haven't had much of a response to this one so could you rally round and give the girls a bit of support please) - Review will be published in the next few days
Review Just in - one of the film goers (who will remain nameless) said that the film was "very Good" - Mark Como eat your heart out.
10th am Everybody returned safely from Wales, full report will be published as soon as I can get round to interview everybody.
Review just in - Harvey say's it was wicked
10th pm Leicester -v- Fulham - We've got tickets, although Fuller thinks it's more important to play rugger than watch a top footie match - Good news, Bad news - Bad news is that we lost the game, the good news is that I didn't miss any of the goals.
11th Competition time - Guess who drove to Ikea & Castle Retail Park on Easter Sunday and was surprised to see that they were both closed - Answers on a postcard please (this competition is still open)
12th to 13th Easter Bank Holiday's
Anyone for the Crucible (see editor for details) - Late news, tickets sold out
13th Everybody to Fullers for the football, review to follow.
14th Newcastle win 2-1, anybody fancy a trip to the toon for the semi (see editor or Fuller for details)
16th Unable to report the whole story but Big Jen & Curry just about sums it up, photo's available on request
16th Cheryls plaster off party - CANCELLED, new date to be announced - 30th looks favorite
19th to 23rd Fact finding tour of Jersey & Yeovil (Andy, Rog, Steph & Chez) -
Update on the Jersey Trip - all I can say about the ferry journey was that it was like a mixture of the following films (The Longest Day, One Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest, The exorcist and finally, the end bit of the Titanic)
Charlotte's organising a little party while we are away
24th Leicester -v- Man City (Andy,Roger & Spencer) start at the quay, then the tamarind, ending up in the dog house.
Update, ended up at the Plough and nearly missed the dog house.
28th Super Coop starts intensive training for his epic bike ride (update on the training, it has just been revealed that Super Coop has been secretly training and is about to take the stabilizers off as we speak)
29th Our very own intrepid bike rider (Super Coop) starts the Coast to Coast bike ride (Should finish sometime in May, hopefully) - anybody wants to come on the booster bus, see the editor for details - Booster bus has been reduced to a four seater, see the editor for details. Editor is now considering going on his own. Editor is now reviewing his options

BREAKING NEWS - DISASTER ON THE FIRST BEND - News has just reached the news desk that Super Coop crashed on the first bend of his epic bike ride, apparently Super Coop forgot to check his breaks on the bike and lost control on the first downhill stretch, he passed the elite riders (who set off 10 minutes before him) at a speed of around 70miles per hour, they thought nothing of it because the rumour was that Chris Boardman was joining the tour. Then he failed to make the first bend, crashing straight through somebodies front garden before taking off over the garden shed (just like the scene in ET) wrapped in garments from the washing line and finished 1 metre down a gulley hitting his head on a large rock, things could have been worst, if he had landed 2 feet to the right he would have injured his bowling arm!.
Good news is that 4 beers and 1 curry later he was back in the saddle, how he is going to feel in the morning is anybodies guess, more news as it comes in, Bring it Home Super Coop
Because of the bravery shown by the rider, the editor is raising his sponsor money from 50p to 75p
Alls well that ends well, Super Coop finishes his bike ride to a massive ovation, Well done Coop.

May
3rd Bank Holiday (how come the banks get so many holiday's)
7th to 10th Cod's Birthday treat at Centre Parc's (lock up your son's)
Cod breaks the record for staying awake, getting out of bed on Saturday morning at 10.30am, she didn't return to bed until Monday 11.00pm which means she stayed awake for a whopping 60 hours and 30 minutes beating Steph's personal best by 49 hours
15th Everybody round Salls for lashings of Apple Pie and Ginger beer.
Party Review - No Apple Pie but the chocolate sweety things were brill
22nd Big Sal's Birthday - I bet she gets loads of expensive cards - BREAKING NEWS - Big Sal's going to a wedding on her birthday (Jon's in for a shock) so she would like to invite everybody over for tea and cakes on Saturday 15th, direction maps are available for the people who have never been before priced at £1.50 (see Editor for details), anybody wishing to have a guided tour of the house must arrive before 7.30pm as the servants are sent home for the night after that.
23rd European Rugby Cup Final (not sure who we will be supporting)
28th WWE RAW Tour of Defiance at Manchester - anybody interested
31st Bank Holiday (What more holidays)

June
Too much sport, I just don't know how I'm going to get through this month
12th England -v- New Zealand
13th England -v- France (Football)
17th England -v- Switzerland
19th England -v- New Zealand
21st England -v- Croatia
20th Big day for all the dads, can't wait now that my daughters earning real folding money now.
26th England -v- Australia
27th England -v- West Indies (Father Ted, Roger, Fuller & Spencer) rumor is that the girls are going to get treated to top scragg and lashing of ginger beer, all they have to do is pick us up after the match.
27th Big Jen's Birthday, I've got the belly dancers booked.
28th It's out of my hands now, it looks like Seattle is in for a right good dumbing down init.

July
7th Leicester -v- Durham 20/20 (see editor for details, need to make a decision as the tickets are going fast)
13th Leicester -v- Notts 20/20 (see editor for details, same as above)
Thought of the day - It can only get better
18th Road Trip to Troon (Andy,Roger,Fuller) - Breaking News - Spencer has been shown the red card, replacments on a postcard please
Can someone pick Cod's up from the airport

August
2nd Mam's Birthday (wish list, more grandkids)
5th Franks Birthday (wish list foreign currency wouldn't go amiss)
7th Scottish Kim's Wedding - see big Jen for information and phrase books
12th Helens Birthday, guess who has been treated to a match ticket to the Walkers Stadium, I bet she gets treated to a drink in the quay as well.
29th Last day at Athens (If we can get a flight)
30th Bank Holiday (ditto)

September
10th to 13th Centre Parc's - BREAKING NEWS - CENTRE PARC'S CANCELLED, NEW DATE TO BE ANNOUCED, WATCH THIS SPACE
17th Sue's Birthday - hopefully it won't end up in the A&E
19th Ruby's Birthday, some debate as to ruby's actual birthday, some people think it might be the 20th, can the mam and dad please confer on this one please and get back to the editor. NEWS FLASH - Date has now been confirmed as the 20th regular readers will know that I have been having trouble with the dates recently, hopefully it should all be sorted out in a few years time.

October
3rd Birthday Boy (24 25), last one before the big one.
16th Elite Riders Chanpionship at Coventry (all riders on two minutes)
19th Birthday Girl (starting to count backwards now), got to start saving because I checked the piggy bank the other day and I don't think Steph will be happy with a present worth only 17 shillings and 7 pence.
This month is still looking thin, has anybody got any good or Bad Idea's

November
Tri Nations Rugby League Great Britain, Australia & New Zealand (see editor for details)
25th Tom's Birthday (wish list - I would imagine that he's just about running low on golf balls by about now)

December
6th Spen's Birthday (wish list - BMW or a quiet nights sleep)
9th Rogers Birthday (wish list, a new bike and loads of vasaline)
Remember, a curry is for life, not just for Christmas
24th Christmas Eve Party at the Wesson HQ, can Coop retain the trophy (don't say you haven't been invited)
25th Father Christmas Birthday, according to Bart Simpson
27th Cheryl's Birthday (No doubling up on the presents please and lets hope she's out of the plaster cast)

2005
January
11th Fuller's Birthday - If we don't get a ride on the fire engine now, we never will do
24th John's Birthday (the two new boy's complete the list) - no news on where the party is but it's a fair bet that it's in the countryside with loads of top scragg - BREAKING NEWS - Jons actually a day younger than we think, his new birthday is now the 25th January, Watch this space to see what date his birthday in 2006 is on, so long as he's serving top scragg i don't mind when it is.
Darts at the Lakeside (see editor for details)
Burns night Scrabble (can Chez defend her trophy, sorry slang words are not allowed, so to repeat, can Cheryl defend her trophy and wear her plaster cast at the same time)

February
Tickets, Tickets, Tickets

March
Easter - we are all going on a Lion Hunt, Please roll up your trousers and stand on your chair, we've not scared, because we've got guns, and bullets too, we came across a forest, we can't go round it, we can't go under it so we will have to go through it, (crash, bang, slash).
Chorus
We came across a lake, we can't go round it, we can't go under it so we will have to go through it, (Splash, Gloggg, Splush) (Wales - Grand Tour)
23rd Cod's Birthday - Where has seventeen years gone
27th Dad's Birthday - Where has 70 odd years gone
29th March the Big One (all invited)

October
Will all the creative thinkers in the family get their heads together and come up with some good idea's for the 3rd, If you leave it to me all the lads will be going on a whistle stop tour of Ibiza, breaking news, a 4 day trip to the Big Apple looks on the cards and the girls can come too.
First come back on the big apple is "it's a bit expensive isn't"
Not much response to this one yet, can you all try a bit harder please, any comment, good/bad/expensive/cheap/tacky/unusual.
emails have started to come in, results so far are.
9 Votes - European Vacation (fancy dress - based on the European Vacation film)- Looks like we have got a winner
3 Votes - Weekend Away
1 Vote - Week Away in a Cottage
1 Vote - Big Apple
1 Vote - Mystery Tour
Keep em coming in
- posted by weggie @ 8:00 PM